weight loss

When Losing Weight Changes Your Relationship

by Karen Brooks on December 5, 2009

Losing weight feels great when you’re doing well. It’s especially exciting when you have been significantly overweight for a long time and through your own hard work and perseverance, you are noticing the great results of your dedicated lifestyle change. But what if your partner is still struggling with unhealthy eating patterns? This can make things difficult on the home front.

Many clients who come to see me fear that losing weight will change the dynamics of a close relationship. Whether it’s with a partner, a sibling or another family member, many people are afraid of changing the status quo; this translates to one of the most common subconscious pay-offs for self-sabotage: ‘If I lose weight it will change the dynamics of my relationship. Therefore, I will subconsciously sabotage myself so that I stay overweight’.

There are many ways that a relationship can be affected by one person losing weight. Let’s use an example; If both you and your partner are overweight and you alone decide to do something about it, then this may leave your partner feeling very vulnerable. He or she may not be ready to make the commitment to a lifestyle change yet. You, on the other hand, may develop different interests and hobbies based around your new healthier lifestyle that leave your partner feeling left behind.

Mealtimes will change. You will probably be eating separate meals at separate times. While he or she is lying on the couch watching television, you may be out at the gym working out, mixing with new people and making new friends. Typically when we lose weight, our self-esteem improves. Seeing the new, confident slimmer you may leave your partner feeling quite unsteady. He or she may act out this vulnerability in a number of ways; by expressing resentment at your new hobbies and physical activities, and maybe by shutting down emotionally.

When one person in the relationship begins to lose weight, look and feel much younger and fitter and generally feel more motivated all round, this can sometimes leave the other partner feeling left behind. They may already be feeling depressed and disempowered, and your success may exacerbate those feelings. My client ‘Janine’ experienced this problem with her husband. As she began to lose weight and get a new lease on life, he became increasingly sullen and resentful. Fortunately, they talked it through and she discovered that her husband had noticed the attention ‘Janine’ was getting from other men as she began to take better care of her appearance.

He could see that she was becoming more attractive and confident in herself, and he started to think: ‘what if she leaves me?’ ‘Janine’ re-assured her husband and eventually convinced him to accompany her to the gym. He is now on his own path of renewed health and their relationship is stronger than ever. ‘Janine’ was very glad that rather than mirroring her husband’s initial defensive behaviour, she was able to get him to open up and explain how he was feeling. Communication is the key.

So what do you do if you are afraid that losing weight may change the dynamics of your significant relationship? Do you stay the way you are to avoid rocking the boat? Well you could do that; but that would only leave you feeling disempowered and resentful. Instead, you could make efforts to include your partner. Try out some healthy low fat recipes and invite him to join you. Discuss the economic advantage of eating home cooked meals rather that getting takeaway. Invite him to come to the gym with you.

‘Jason’ lived with a wife who loved to cook for him. When he started to take care of his body and lose weight, he no longer wanted the lavish meals she used to prepare every night, since they were loaded with calories. His wife felt upset and anxious because she believed she was no longer needed. Cooking his meals was her way of looking after him and showing him that she loved him.

I suggested that she and ‘Jason’ attend healthy cooking classes together in order to learn how to prepare healthy low fat meals. Not only have they found something new to do together, ‘Jason’ and his wife are now both losing weight and feeling fantastic. His weight loss journey has brought them even closer together.

There are lots of ways to communicate with your partner and help them to feel included. We are often heavily influenced by the behaviour of our close family and friends, so your good habits will probably rub off onto others around you. Everybody wins! Whatever you do, don’t let the fear of your relationship changing stop you from pursuing your weight loss goals. Your relationships can change for the better and you will add several years of life expectancy as a result of your commitment to health and longevity.

About the Author

Sonia Devine is one of Australia’s leading experts in weight loss hypnotherapy. Want to learn more about how to achieve permanent weight loss? Claim your FREE Weight Loss E-book here => http://loveyourselfslim.com.au/free_stuff


How Can You Burn More Calories

by Karen Brooks on November 15, 2009

If you do not have time to go to the gym you can easily burn calories doing your daily duties. You would be surprised at how many pounds/kilograms you can lose without even suspecting.

Lets get to the essential part now, namely how to lose more calories without this being our main purpose?

Rule # 1– Use the stairs. No matter whether you use the stairs in the building you live or at the place where you work, it is always an advantage if you take the stairs instead of the elevator. There are thousands of different ways to climb up and go down the stairs so that you are never bored and most importantly lose some extra weight. You can take 2-3 stairs at a time; you can jump, skip a few stairs, climb sidewise, or simply do a little run up the stairs.

Rule # 2- Set your alarm 10 minutes earlier. Waking up and doing a short series of morning exercises will get you far. It will not only accelerate your blood circulation and warm up your muscles, but it will also charge your batteries for the whole day. Make sure you complete at least 3 different exercises with 15-20 repetitions each. Only after you are done you can go ahead and have breakfast. Burning calories before you have your first meal is much more effective for your body than burning calories late at night after you have already consumed a lot of food.

Rule # 3- Choose the longest route possible. Wherever you go to work, home, to the store, and etc., always take the longest road. You either way have to get where you want so why not actually burn some calories while you are doing that? Put it in your mind that there are no shortcuts to your destination. If you need to drive in order to get there, try to always park at the furthest location possible so that you can at least walk for a bit.

Rule # 4– Sleep naked at night. When your body feels cold it burns more calories in order to warm itself. If you want to burn even more, you can simply keep the air conditioning on all the time. However, I recommend that you to keep the air on during the day when you are awake and can control it constantly. Falling asleep while the cold air is blowing in your face can really make you very sick. However, some people love sleeping with the air on and some don?t. It is up to you what you decide, but remember that the most important is that you are healthy.

Rule # 5– Dress up warm while working out. Some of you might say hmmm, why is it better that I sleep without clothes but at the same time I need to put more clothes on while working out? Yeah, it is very strange, but it is a fact that sleeping without clothes and working out with more clothes have an equal positive effect when it comes to burning calories. The more you sweat during active physical exercising, the more effort your body needs to make to get you back to your normal body temperature. That is the main reason why you tend to burn more calories when you are dressed warm.

Rule # 6 – Burning calories in front of the TV. Do you enjoy watching TV shows? I am sure you do. Do not forget that during each show there are plenty of commercials a few minutes each. During that time you need to get up from the couch and do a few exercises. You can do jumping jacks, pushups, crunches, or simply stretching exercises. The choice is all yours. You will be amazed how these couple of exercises can really make you mood and body feel better.

Rule # 7– Buy a pedometer (a step counter). You can wrap this little device either around your wrist or around your waist and it will automatically start counting the steps you make. In this way you can keep track of how many steps per day you make walking or running. Once you know how many steps you make on a regular day, then you can start increasing this number by a little every day. You can even turn it into a game where you need to make more and more steps each day in order to win.

Rule # 8 – Start walking faster. If it usually takes you 15 minutes walking to get to the gym or somewhere else, try to shorten the time to 10 minutes. You can even rotate by walking 2 minutes fast and 2 minutes slow and so on. This way of walk will accelerate your heart rate and therefore it will be easier to burn additional calories.

Rule # 9– Chew gum. It might really sound crazy to you but every time you chew gum you burn calories. Scientists have found that you can burn 12 calories for every 1 hour of chewing gum. It is not a lot but it?s really something. Additionally while chewing gum you produce extra saliva which helps clean your gums and teeth as well. Well, as you can see there are many creative ways of losing some extra weight without putting any effort in them.

About the Author


My name is Gergana Ganeva and I am the owner of website called Healthy Body Exercises at http://www.healthy-body-exercises.com . I have been intensively involved in sports for 18 years now. A few years ago I ended my professional career as a tennis player and since then I have been working with people who want to lose weight by exercising . My main goal is to teach you how to stay healthy and lose some extra weight the healthy way